On the Balcony
by Sylvia Viridian
Summary: All she wanted was to fit in, just once, to be viewed as someone worth dancing with. Unfortunately, they are in Tethe'alla, where prejudice runs deep... Kraine, oneshot, songfic


I wrote this as a birthday gift for a friend on LiveJournal, and it's been posted there for a while. It was intended as a one-shot, although I've had at least one request that I continue, so maybe I will. The song is Beautiful Alone by Weiss Kreuz, I don't own it. The translation is my own, with the help of an online dictionary; if you notice anything I should fix about it, please tell me. Oh, and in the part that Raine sings, I changed the word 'boku' to 'watashi' because that's what a girl would say. It's still singable that way, if you juggle the syllables a bit.

I don't own Tales of Symphonia. This is set at the dinner party after the rescue of Princess Hilda, where Raine is lonely because Tethe'allans don't like half-elves. Spoilers up to just before Origin's Seal.

* * *

The Party 

Raine sighed as she left the crowded ballroom for the sanctuary offered by the balcony. Her companions seemed, for the most part, to be enjoying themselves; she watched as Zelos, who had already declined dances from nearly every girl in the room, finally convinced Sheena to dance with him. Lloyd and Colette were nearby, already dancing; both of them were blushing adorably, and Lloyd didn't seem to mind in the least that Colette kept stepping on his toes, although she constantly apologized for it. At the edge of the room sat Presea; Genis had been bringing her refreshments all night, which she always accepted, so as not to be rude - Raine thought the girl looked like she would burst if she consumed anything more. Only Regal seemed as though he was not having a good time. Raine couldn't blame him, considering how much gossip and how many curious stares revolved around him on account of his handcuffs. Raine had asked him to dance at one point when it seemed especially bad, just to help him get away from the crowd, but he regretfully declined; his shackled hands, he said, would make any sort of dancing awkward at best, and Raine had to agree. It was only after she had turned away that she realized it was just as well; dancing with a half-elf would not be a move calculated to make the rumor-mongers leave him alone.

Raine had wished someone would ask her to dance, but she knew that wish was quite hopeless. She could only hope that Genis, caught up as he was in his infatuation with Presea, had failed to note the stares and looks of disgust directed at the two half-elves ever since they had entered. Raine had escaped to the balcony because she simply couldn't stand it anymore; never before in her memory had she been so acutely aware of her heritage, except when she and Genis had been arrested for "caste-deception". Out here, she was finally able to breathe without the pressure of a thousand condemning eyes burning into her.

She moved to the railing and looked out over the city. It was a lovely sight, with the glowing lights in the houses, and the moonlight from the clear sky above. There were so many people…so many humans much like the ones in the room behind her, who would never accept her unless she changed to fit into their narrow world. Suddenly, she felt terribly lonesome. Softly, she began to sing an elvish song that her mother had sung to her as a lullaby, one of the only things she remembered from her childhood.

"Toge no aru kotoba dake." (This city reflects)  
"Kono machi wa utsushiteru, itsumo." (Only harsh words, forever.)  
"Meguriau, hito ga nagareru." (Meeting by chance, people are washed away.)  
"Shinjitara kuzuresou." (If we believe in something, it is sure to crumble.)  
"Fuan dake dakishimeru, hibi yo." (We embrace only uncertainty, day after day.)  
"Moshimo, koko ni anata ga itara, hanasanai no ni." (If you were here, we would never be separated.)

"Tokei no oto ni oitaterareru." (The sound of the clock drives you away.)  
"Wasureru koto de, kyou no hi o" (Forgetting the circumstances of this day,)  
"Watashi wa ikiteiru yo." (I continue to live.)

"Anata to watashi to no sabishisa o" (Your and my loneliness)  
"Kasaneru you ni shite, kuchidzukeru." (Piles up within us, until we kiss.)

Raine paused briefly for a breath, and in that moment, the song continued, now in a gentle baritone from behind her. She spun to see Kratos standing there, a faraway look in his eyes as he sang.

"Futari ga itameta, kizuato ga" (Both of us are hurt; the scars)  
"Utsukushii wakare o tsugeru darou." (Seem to tell of a beautiful parting.)

He finished the chorus, and focused his gaze on Raine. Simply staring at her as if trying to solve a puzzle, he showed no particular inclination toward saying anything. After a moment, Raine spoke instead, to break the heavy silence. "What are you doing here?" she asked, perhaps a little more harshly than she'd intended; after all he'd done for them recently, she mostly trusted him again, and was really only curious about his presence. She chalked her tone up to the stress of the night and the surprise of his appearance; she didn't really want to avoid him. Did she?

The corner of his lips quirked in what might have been the beginning of a sardonic smirk. "As happy to see me as ever, hm?" he asked rhetorically, "I…was in the area, and so I thought I would check to see how all of you were. Although I'm a little baffled as to why you are at a dinner party while the worlds' fate hangs in the balance." He raised a questioning eyebrow.

Raine blushed a little in embarrassment. "It's…a reward for rescuing Princess Hilda. The children really wanted to come, and we couldn't see any harm in letting them relax and have fun for one night." She looked back into the room, a bit wistfully, "They're enjoying themselves, at least."

"Why aren't you in there? Don't you like dancing?" Kratos asked, ignoring the part of his mind that was taking note of how pretty Raine was when she blushed, "You certainly didn't seem to mind it in Asgard."

"That was different; it was research." She shrugged, "I asked Regal to dance, but he can't with those shackles on, and the others all have their partners…well, Genis and Presea aren't dancing, but I'm not going to dance with my little brother."

Kratos tilted his head quizzically. "Regal is hardly the only unattended male in the room," he pointed out, "As lovely as you look tonight," Raine's cheeks flared pink at the offhand compliment, "I would think they would be lining up for the chance to dance with you."

Raine looked away, the blush in her cheeks fading at the reminder of why she was outside. "They might…except that my ears condemn me," she whispered sadly, suddenly fighting off the tears that had been threatening her with their presence all evening. _Is this to be my fate?_ she wondered, _I could be the greatest scholar, or the most beautiful woman, in the two worlds…and all that most people would see would be my pointed ears._

Kratos felt like a complete fool. He hadn't forgotten about Tethe'alla's prejudice against half-elves, of course, and he knew that Raine was one…he simply didn't think of her as such. But the others there would see only the label they put upon her… He stepped forward so that he stood beside her, at the railing. "I am sorry; I had…forgotten how short-sighted many people can be."

His tone was genuinely apologetic, and when Raine looked up at him, the regret and sorrow in his eyes melted her heart, even as his proximity made it beat faster. "Kratos…" she began to ask, then hesitated. _What am I thinking? But I have to know…_ she thought, then took a quiet breath and continued, "when you look at me…what do you see?" She needed a viewpoint that was separate from the rest of the world, needed to confirm that to someone, she was more than the label applied to her.

Kratos seemed to understand this. "I see a lovely, intelligent woman who has had to be strong for so long that she has forgotten how to show weakness, who has comforted others for so long that she has forgotten what it is to receive comfort." _A woman I want to comfort, far more than I should…she needs this, but in the end, I can only give her pain. But perhaps, just for now, I can help her through this difficulty. Perhaps that will be enough._

Raine was silent for a long moment. Finally, she said in a small voice, "Why can't I show that person to anyone else? What will it take for it to be clear enough that other people can see that in me?"

Kratos hesitated a moment, then placed a hand on her shoulder, a little uncertainly, hoping that she wouldn't flinch away. "It is the world that refuses to see you as you are; you have done nothing wrong in that regard, and it is a measure of your strength that you have not yet given up on trying."

Raine smiled bitterly, "Maybe that's why no one wants to dance with me; I'm too threatening to them. If I were a pretty little fluffhead, willing to gratefully accept whatever crumbs of regard they threw me, I doubt I would have this difficulty."

"Then they are fools." Kratos' tone brooked no argument. "Any belief system which is unable to weather challenges to its authority deserves to be dismantled by such." _And that's not hypocritical at all,_ he thought sarcastically to himself.

Raine hung her head a bit. "It's kind of you to say so," she murmured, "but honestly…I wish I could be a fluffhead, just for one night…to fit into someone's worldview well enough for them to notice me, just once. I'm a fool, I know…"

Kratos shook his head. "Anyone would feel the same," he told her gently, "No one in the worlds can defy a society every minute of every day…" He trailed off as Raine shook her head mutely and moved away, head down, refusing to look at him. _What did I do wrong?_ He thought of all the advice he'd ever heard for dealing with people, especially emotional women. What had Martel said once? The memory of her voice rang through his thoughts: _"Sometimes, words aren't enough. People need to feel wanted, and sometimes they need actions to confirm the words they hear."_

He thought about this for a moment. _She…wanted to dance with someone, without having to pretend to be someone she isn't…_ Quietly, he stepped toward her once again, his mind made up. _Just for tonight…perhaps it will be enough._

Raine, lost in her dark thoughts, didn't hear him approach her, didn't notice him at all until he reached out and took her hand in his own. She looked up at him, surprised…and was captured by his expression, tender and just a little uncertain.

He spoke, his voice a gentle murmur, "I realize that I am a poor substitute for the young men in that room…but as they are too foolish to see what is before them, would you dance with me instead?"

Time stood still for a moment, as Raine watched Kratos with stunned eyes and Kratos held his breath, wondering the whole time why he was doing so, why he cared so much, and not certain he liked the answer he came up with. Finally, after a few seconds' pause that lasted for as many eternities, Raine smiled, a smile of genuine happiness that made Kratos' heart skip a beat.

"I would be honored," she told him, a little breathlessly, "But…you can't go in there, can you? Someone's bound to notice, and ask you for your invitation…" _…and in there, the people all stare at me,_ she added silently.

"We can hear the music from out here," Kratos murmured, "Unless you truly wanted to go inside, in which case I would be willing to take the risk," Raine shook her head, "then I see no reason why we cannot remain right here."

Raine stepped toward him, entwining their fingers and placing her other hand on his shoulder. "Well, then," she said, "Shall we dance?"

Then, Raine saw something that she had never dared hope for, even in her wildest dreams: Kratos smiled at her, a warm and genuine smile that spread across his face gradually, lighting up his eyes and giving his expression a tenderness that she had never thought to see from him. Her heart began pounding so hard she was certain he could have heard it even if his senses were not enhanced by angelic powers, and she could feel her face flush. Her breath caught in her throat as he guided her a bit closer and placed his hand on the small of her back.

As they began to dance together, the music from the ballroom almost seemed to fade away, replaced instead by an elvish lullaby.

_Nayamashii yoru dake ga (Only on this enchanting night)  
Ai no kage shitte iru, kitto. (I surely feel a shadow of love)  
Michikakeru tsuki o samayou (As I wander under the waxing and waning moon.)  
Eien ga owattara (When eternity is over)  
Munashisa ni tsutsumareru, sotto. (I am softly wrapped in futility.)  
Sora ni kieru tsubame no tsubasa boku ni attara. (I will meet the wings of swallows who are vanishing into the sky.)_

_Shizuka na ame ni yasashiku nureru. (The quiet rain gently soaks me.)  
Nanika o motome, sono kawari (I search for something, but instead)  
Boku wa ai o nakusu. (I am losing love.)_

_Anata to boku to no kanashimi o (Your and my sadness)  
Itawariau you ni, dakishimeru. (In order to care for one another, we embrace.)  
Futari ga kizuita, omoide ga. (Both of us are wounded; our memories together)  
Utsukushii kodoku o egaku darou. (Seem to describe a beautiful isolation.)_

_Anata to boku to no sabishisa o (Your and my loneliness)  
Kasaneru you ni shite, kuchidzukeru. (Piles up within us, until we kiss.)  
Futari ga itameta, kizuato ga. (Both of us are hurt; the scars)  
Utsukushii wakare o tsugeru darou. (Seem to tell of a beautiful parting.)_

They danced for what felt like hours, or perhaps only minutes, lost in each other's eyes. Finally, as yet another song ended, Kratos' sensitive hearing picked something up from inside the room.

"The others are wondering where you are," he murmured, with a glance at the doors, "You should probably go to them, before they think to look out here for you."

Raine sighed, but nodded. "Thank you," she said, embracing him tightly.

"It was my pleasure," he told her sincerely, wrapping his arms loosely around her. As soon as she released him slightly, he reached out and tilted her chin upward so that their eyes met, faces just inches apart.

Afterward, neither was sure who it was that moved first; to both of them, the draw seemed inevitable, irresistible. Raine leaned upward toward Kratos, at the same moment he leaned downward to meet her, until finally, their lips met.

The kiss was gentle and hesitant, at first; then, when neither pulled away, it became more passionate, tongues flickering against lips, asking permission, stroking and entwining, entirely lost in this one endless moment. Finally, both were forced to pull away for air. One of Kratos' hands had become entangled in Raine's hair; the other arm was wrapped around her waist holding her close, and Raine was grateful, because she didn't think she could have kept standing otherwise. Her own hands were on Kratos' shoulders, gripping him firmly as though she thought he might suddenly vanish.

"Kratos…" Raine breathed in dazed astonishment, "I…"

Kratos shook his head, removing his hand from her hair to press a finger gently against her lips. "…I should go," he whispered, his voice slightly rough.

Raine nodded reluctantly, "…I suppose you should…" He began to move away from her, and she caught at his sleeve. "Will…will I see you again?" _Is there any chance for us?_ was what she was too afraid to ask, but Kratos seemed to understand it anyway.

He wanted to give her some vague-but-comforting lie, but looking into her pleading eyes, he knew that he could not. "…In Torent Forest, at Origin's seal. …If all goes as I have planned…that will be the last time that anyone sees me."

Raine's eyes widened, "Kratos…you really mean to go through with it then?"

He looked at her sadly, "Origin's seal is based on my life. This is the only way to release him, the only way to give Lloyd the Eternal Sword, and the power to save the worlds." _I knew it would hurt her…why did I let this go so far, when I knew that in the end, I will be dead, probably within the week? Why…why did I kiss her? How could I have been so selfish?_ Raine seemed speechless; he tried and failed to give her a sad smile, as he pulled out his wings. "Goodbye, Raine," he told her, preparing to take off, "…I'm sorry." With that, he left, flying off into the night.

Raine finally found her voice a second later. "…Goodbye…Kratos…" she managed finally, hoping that his angelic hearing would catch her words. She watched until he was out of sight, then remained staring at the night sky.

Several minutes later, Lloyd poked his head through the balcony doors. "There you are, Professor! Are you ready to go? Everyone else is getting pretty tired, I think we're done for the night."

Raine turned to face him, her expression distant for a moment, before focusing on her student. "Yes…" she said softly, "Yes, I'm ready."

Owari


End file.
